Liquefied Love
by Roni-chan
Summary: A series of loosely connected domestic MakoHaru one-shots, written for tumblr's MakoHaru festival. (makoharufestival dot tumblr dot com.) Rating may go up in the future.
1. Turquoise

**Day 1**  
**Prompt:** Blue & Green  
**Summary:** There are about three seconds in which Makoto is absolutely, utterly terrified.

* * *

**Turquoise**

_oOo_

Though the water isn't shallow, at the end of the pier, the poles are high enough that Makoto can barely reach the surface with the tips of his toes. One of his knees is pulled up to his chest, his other leg swinging lazily as he gazes ahead, his eyes settled upon the vast blue sea in front of him, and the lone figure in it, almost too far to be seen properly, but Makoto knows Haru well enough for his mind to make up for what his eyes cannot do. Haruka is floating on his back, the gentle waves brushing locks of his hair this side and that, his arms held loosely at his sides - so different from the constant tightening of his muscles when he swims -, the steady rise and fall of his chest making him rise out of the water slightly, and then fall back a little deeper each time.

There is a part of Makoto that's still afraid, despite how calm the water looks to be right now. It is so _big_, endlessly so, and he knows all too well how _wild _it can be, that the present calmness is a lie, he remembers too well how its quiescent azure can turn into a roaring rage of murderous grey foam that once already took something precious from him, and, another time, almost did it again, as well as trying to claim _him _too.

He may never stop being frightened of the sea, but this deep, calm blue is somehow soothing right now - if he really thinks about it, he has to admit it to himself that Haruka being so close by is probably a part of it.

Taking his eyes off of the other's faraway figure, Makoto's eyes drop, and he amuses himself by tapping his big toe against the water surface, watching as the water rings expand, and then distort around the pier's legs. Maybe he could just jump in... for once... maybe he could swim to join Haruka, maybe... just this one time... perhaps he could share the love his best friend has for this mysterious liquid of life. And then, maybe, one day, he won't be as frightened.

It's so much easier not to be, when Haruka is by his side.

_oOo_

It was maybe a little cold at first, but Haruka feels completely comfortable now. This is the best place in the world to be, isn't it? The way the waves wash over him makes him so much more at ease than he would be anywhere else. Even swimming in a pool cannot compete, in the end; nobody would be able to tell, by how hard Haruka works for the sake of their team, but it takes troublesomely long stretching sessions after each afternoon spent with training for his muscles not to cramp up from the strain, and Haruka only puts effort into things that are truly _worth it_.

Then again, it would be a blatant lie to say that doing things for the swimming club (and most importantly, his best friend - Haruka glances in Makoto's direction at the thought) isn't worth the effort.

Haruka turns his eyes back towards the sky, taking a deep breath, and holding it in, letting droplets of water roll down the sides of his chest as he rises slightly with the next wave, a small smile on his lips. He has said it before, back at that memorable regionals competition, when they were so desperate to get Rin back on their side; that it was him, Matsuoka Rin, who had taught Haru what's truly worth swimming for - the team. But as time has passed, Haru has had to realize that that wasn't entirely true. Rin may have said it out back then, thrown it in his face, a fact Haruka was eventually forced to swallow, for there was no way of denying the truth of it, of how much better things felt when he was doing them _for_ _the team_ - but there was more to it, really, and even though at first Haruka kept thinking back to Rin's words, it wasn't long before he came to the somewhat shocking realization, that each and every time he was reminded of it, it was about something _Makoto _was doing.

He looks at the other again, this time turning his head slightly. From this direction, the shallow water reflects the sunlight in an odd sort of way that makes the surface glisten in a greenish light, and Haruka reflects upon the figure of Makoto sitting on the pier, seemingly watching _him _in a similar fashion. Unlike Haruka, Makoto has never needed to be taught how to think of others before himself. He has been like that right from the start, putting the happiness of the people precious to him before his own self - and even though Haruka never quite found a good way to express this thought, now that he's a safe distance away from the brunet not to be caught (Makoto is just too good at reading him, really), he can allow himself the tiniest of blushes upon the thought of how happy it actually makes him that he is among the people Makoto cherishes.

... Which is kind of an understatement, but Haruka was never one to boast unnecessarily, not even when there is nobody around to hear. The truth is there, whether he says it out or not, and he is content enough with that.

The Sun is slowly beginning to set, and Haruka dips himself underwater, marveling - not that he hasn't seen it at least a couple hundred times before - at the sight of how the water all around him begins to shift in colour. This is one of the things he truly loves about the sea (among others, of course); the way it is never stagnant, unlike the pool's ever-stagnant, chloric water with a completely still (unless purposefully disrupted) surface. The various blues begin to melt into something softer, a bit of yellowish red reflecting here and there, while the majority of it is beginning to melt into a glossy sort of light bottle green. Haruka holds his breath for a while, till he's beginning to feel a little dizzy, and just allows himself to be swallowed up in swirls of perpetuity.

Makoto jerks his leg out of the water as he sees Haruka dive, a jolt of fear sending a shockwave-like feeling up his spine. Breath held as if it was _him _being underwater, he waits for the other to resurface, but the surface smoothens out after a couple of seconds, and even though he knows the other is just being his usual self, with the way the Sun is descending, the thought of darkness, and all it hides, creeping nearer, Makoto has to bite down on his bottom lip, hard, not to call out Haruka's name. His eyes search the surface frantically, but there's no movement, no sign, no-...

He recoils with a gasp as Haruka ascends right in front of him, grabbing onto the edge of the pier and hoisting himself up, one knee between Makoto's feet supporting his weight as he leans forward, spraying everything with droplets of water as he shakes his head in that well-known fashion, azure-blue eyes fixing themselves on bottle-green ones with such fierceness that the gentle brunet cannot find it in himself to look away. "Haru-..." he begins, confused, and still a little winded from the fright the other just gave him, but he is not allowed to finish the sentence, whatever it was going to be about.

"Come with me, Makoto." It could be a request, but of course, even the most politely intended things sound like a demand when Haruka utters them, and Makoto can only smile at that, because he - and probably _only _he - knows it's a request anyway. What he doesn't expect, however, is the way Haruka's arms wrap around his neck, and the next moment, both of them plunge into the water, just a split second after he managed to take a deep breath, and not before he managed to slightly bruise his shin against the rough wooden edge of the pier.

There are about three seconds in which Makoto is absolutely, utterly terrified. The water of the sea is everywhere, and it's darker underneath than he would have thought, and he's just not sure how long he can hold his breath. But then, as he finally takes a moment to take in his surroundings properly, he has to realize that Haruka's arms are still around him, holding on almost fiercely, in a way that makes Makoto feel protected, and he looks at the other through the vibrancy of the rays of the descending Sun's rays piercing through everything around them, and there is an indescribable look in Haruka's eyes that makes the brunet feel - for perhaps the first time since the tsunami happened - at peace.

Then they break through the surface again, and they are both gasping for fresh air, and Haru is laughing - _really _laughing, albeit completely soundlessly, his shoulders trembling with semi-concealed mirth, his eyes shining. Makoto's gaze softens, touching their foreheads together, and when he asks, "What was that about, hmm?", he doesn't really expect an answer.

It is answer enough for both of them, when the last fragments of sunlight fall on the water, reflecting an entirely new colour. Makoto sees his own eyes reflecting in Haruka's as he leans in, and when their lips finally meet halfway, everything seems to melt into a vortex of green and blue - a perfect **turquoise**.


	2. Overthinker

**Day 2**  
**Prompt:** Watching  
**Summary:** Explaining things to Makoto, in general, is very difficult.

* * *

**Overthinker**

_oOo_

"Hey, Haru."

"Hm...?"

They are lying on their backs next to each other in the grass at the Tachibanas' back garden. They're on the verge of summer, and it's the weekend, so, to someone who knows them fairly well, it would be rather odd that Haruka isn't spending such a nice, warm afternoon in the sea, or anywhere else he can swim. Someone who knows him better than anyone else, though - that is to say, _Makoto _- wouldn't even need to ask. Haru has turned up at the door sometime after lunch, to be greeted by a slightly wobbly Makoto, and then they've ended up outside here, Haru having decided without even having to be asked that today, he'd rather keep Makoto company - as the brunet currently can't quite go anywhere, let alone swim, with his fractured ankle.

Part of it is probably a bit of guilt, Makoto muses quietly, although he's not upset at Haruka at all. It _was _kind of his fault, though. Haruka tends to get completely lost in thought sometime; if it weren't for the fact that Makoto was watching out for him, it would be him injured right now. Of course, in the end, it was mostly the fault of the bicycle rider who crashed into them (into Makoto, that is, as he dragged Haruka to the side at the last moment), but the dark-haired boy probably still thinks it could have been avoidable.

"What is it, Makoto?" he asks, and Makoto comes to the abrupt realization that he has completely forgotten what he was going to say.

"Ahh... well... umm..." he stammers, going slightly red in the face, and Haru rolls his eyes, the corner of his lips tugging upwards as he turns his head back to face upwards. It's barely noticeable, but Makoto sees it anyway, and it makes him blush just a little deeper, and have a smile of his own. Haruka rarely actually smiles, let alone laugh (save for _that one time_, which Makoto still feels a bit guilty about, but it was Rin's idea...), but he substitutes other things for it, other, much more subtle things, like the softening of his gaze, or the tiniest hint of blushes on his cheeks, which only someone as closely watching as Makoto would be able to recognize.

The brunet tips his head upwards too, watching with half-lidded eyes as the poplar tree's leaves swing this way and that as wind brushes them from side to side, shadows dancing on the two boys' faces.

"I've been wondering ever since he first said it to you," he finds himself saying, and he can feel more than actually see Haru turn his head in his direction again, confusion etched upon his features.

"What?"

"A sight you've never seen before," Makoto quotes with a light smile, and he can feel Haruka stiffen just the slightest bit. "What did it mean, exactly, Haru? I've... always wanted to know, but... it seemed like it was something just between you and Rin." If there is any jealousy about what he is saying, it is undetectable to Haruka. He simply sounds curious, and the dark-haired boy finds himself asking, instead of replying,

"If you've always wanted to know, why not ask sooner?"

Makoto blushes profusely, and Haruka rolls on his side entirely, facing him, his expression unreadable. Where is all of this coming from, they both wonder silently.

"I guess I wasn't sure before, whether it was my place to ask," Makoto finally replies, a little hesitant. "Not before you and I..." He trails away, and turns his head in the other direction a little, feeling embarrassed. Haruka cannot help but _love _this; yet another thing he would never say out loud, but the thought that the ever so selfless Tachibana Makoto is actually feeling possessive about something (someone), and it happens to be him, is an elating feeling, one Haruka isn't yet used to, despite the fact that almost everything about being with Makoto is elating.

"Overthinker," he states flatly, causing Makoto to peer back at him, shyness shifting for more curiosity.

"You think...?"

"Definitely."

"Well, then...?" Makoto is not about to give up on the topic, and Haruka is left wondering about how to even explain. Explaining things to Makoto, in general, is very difficult; he's just so used to the brunet understanding almost everything about him without needing any explanation, that when it just so happens that he doesn't, Haruka is left scrambling for words, for Makoto doesn't deserve to be left in the dark anyway, and especially not about a topic such as this.

"It was kind of an eye-opening thing," he says softly, propping himself up on an elbow. "Less about giving me something new, and more about making me realize what I _already had_." Makoto's eyes widen slightly, asking wordlessly if Haruka really is implying what it sounds like he's implying. He gets the confirmation when the other raises his free hand, and pokes him in the ribs, _sharp_, with his face still almost comically impassive. "Because **you**," Haruka says pointedly, "are just too damn nice to ever say anything - to take things for yourself."

"E-Ehh? Haru, you can't just say stuff like that-..." Makoto blushes profusely, and even more so when Haru decides to scoot closer, laying down straight onto Makoto's shoulder, leaving the brunet almost light-headed in thinking if he just turned his head a little bit, he'd be _just _close enough to kiss. It is not so much that Haru said something indecent, or even untrue, Makoto has to admit to himself, but since it's so rare for him to actually go to such lengthy explanations, it's easy for Makoto to be caught off guard.

"I thought you knew this already," Haruka says, his voice quieter now, and Makoto's gaze softens as their eyes meet. "I would have said something if I didn't think it was obvious."

"Are you calling me stupid?" Makoto is mostly just poking fun, a hint of mock hurt in his voice. "I'm no mind-reader, Haru-chan."

"No, you're a watcher," the dark-haired boy replies matter-of-factly, so set on the topic that he even forgets to complain. "A people-watcher. You've always watched me, haven't you? You watch out for everyone."

"Not as much as I watch out for Haru, though," Makoto smiles, only to cringe as Haruka's foot nudges his, exactly where his injury is, a jolt of pain shooting through his ankle. "Ow, Haru! What was that for?!"

"Look where that got you, watching me that much..." Haruka's words are a little muffled, as he has turned to press his face against Makoto's shoulder. In spite of the pain, Makoto cannot help but laugh a bit, threading his fingers into the other's hair.

_So he __**is **__feeling guilty after all..._


	3. No Judging

**Day 3**  
**Prompt:** Holding Hands  
**Summary:** Makoto has to admit, it has been feeling like there was a solid case of ice around his heart in the past few weeks.

* * *

**No Judging**

_oOo_

It is Nagisa who first notices. It is a subtle change; the two of them still share their all-knowing looks, as if sharing some inside knowledge, or even a joke, between them, that nobody else is privy to; the way Makoto's expression literally melts into the gentlest of smiles he has always reserved for Haruka, and Haruka only, the way Haruka's eyes shine with a kind of startling happiness, even though it's been how many months now? since they've come out to their friends about their relationship. Everything should be all right, given the way the rest of them received the news; of course, all of them were happy for them (maybe Gou was a little overenthusiastic, too), even Rin refrained from teasing just for the sake of it.

It changed when the two of them returned from their solitary trip to Tokyo, or so Nagisa thinks. It takes him a while to detect what exactly is wrong; it doesn't feel like there is a rift between the two, but they still pull up some kind of wall as soon as they are among other people. (Nagisa secretly sneaks after them one afternoon, even though he lives in another direction, and witnesses the two of them stop on their way, Haruka tugging Makoto into a shadowy little alley's end, press him against the wall, and kiss him almost forcefully - after which Nagisa quickly retreats, of course. Still, he concludes that it has to do with being seen by them - and it is more than confusing.)

It is not that the pair of them were ever big on public displays of affection. Well, fact is, Haruka isn't, and Makoto respects the fact. But, there is _one _exception Haruka has made - **holding hands**. Nagisa has to laugh a bit when he recalls how it started; Rin came by at the end of one of their swimming practices, to pick Gou up, because she had apparently made him promise some family bonding time. Haruka's mouth dropped open slightly as he saw the way Gou clung to her brother happily, and especially at the way Rin looked to the other side and huffed in slight annoyance, but at the same time, his fingers tightened around Gou's rather noticeably. "Why do they do that?" Haruka asked quietly then, startling Makoto, whose sight of the Matsuokas was partially obscured from the way he was still toweling his hair dry.

"Do what?"

"Hold hands," Haruka said simply, and Makoto laughed.

"It's a family kind of thing, I suppose," he said lightly, his eyebrows raising slightly at the disappointed expression crossing Haruka's face. "Uhm... A gesture of protection, then? I hold Ran and Ren's hands too, when I go pick them up from school." The frown remained, and Makoto was trying to grasp for thoughts to figure out what Haruka was actually getting at. "Ah, it's like... the way you used to hold mine, when we were small, and I was scared of things." It seemed he hit the jackpot this time around. Haru's expression mellowed out, and all pretense was dropped when he reached out, and gingerly hooked his little finger together with the brunet's.

"I want to hold Makoto's hand again."

Nagisa remembers he had to plaster both his palms over his mouth to keep himself from giggling aloud, and disrupting the moment, while Rei shot him disapproving looks, and later on babbling about how truly beautiful Makoto and Haruka's relationship was, while they too went to shower.

Rei has a point, though, or so Nagisa thinks. Which is exactly why it's so odd for them to have stopped. From that day onwards, they've always been departing from practice's end towards home hand in hand, Makoto becoming less and less flustered about it with each passing day, and Haruka looking almost _smugly _content. (The only thing making Nagisa even happier than seeing his friends fit so well with each other, was when one afternoon Rei decided to subtly slip his own fingers in between Nagisa's own, with a furious blush spreading on his face, while the blond just giggled, and gave a reassuring squeeze back.)

So why'd they stop?

Every time the thought crosses his mind, Nagisa _almost _asks. But then, he always sees the little things; how Makoto's hand brushes against Haruka's, and the dark-haired boy jerks as if burnt, then Makoto looks away, a look of distant sadness in his eyes; or how Makoto chooses to grip his chair's edge and bite down on his lip when the group of them go watch a movie together, and there's a part full of tension, one which would usually prompt the tall boy to hold onto Haruka (which has been a habit of his well before they were even romantically involved). And then, oddly, Nagisa just can't bring himself to say anything, because it feels as if it's almost too much for them to deal with, even without him being an obnoxious blabbermouth that he is very well aware that he usually is, nosing into everyone's business (as Rei likes to remind him).

The bursting point, when Nagisa just can't take it any longer, is when they get word of Haru having applied to a nearby store to work at, and Makoto looks as impassive about this news as Haru himself usually does. "What, but didn't you guys go to Tokyo together to check out universities?!" Nagisa exclaims, incredulous and somewhat pissed at being left out of apparently so much more than he would have thought. Makoto simply looks away, biting his lip again, while Haru gives his usual _'what's-the-big-deal'_ look. Nagisa thinks he's just about ready to explode, but at that moment, Gou and Ama-chan-sensei appear, and there is no time to ask more - time to swim.

Up to this point, they've been covering up well enough to not hinder their performance, but after Nagisa's comment, it becomes blatantly obvious that something is wrong. Makoto is completely out of breath after just 450 metres, and despite Gou's continuous yelling, Haruka doesn't even pretend he's making an effort, deciding to swim in a leisurely, relaxed fashion, as if wanting nothing more than distance himself from where he is at the moment. As for Nagisa, he's just too frustrated to concentrate, and gives up one lap after Makoto pushed himself out of the pool, coughing and wheezing, climbing out after the team captain, and shaking water out of his hair. "So, what's all this about, Mako-chan?" he asks when it looks like the brunet has more or less caught his breath. "Is everything all right between you guys?" Makoto looks up at him, the genuine surprise in his eyes already answering the question, making Nagisa in turn feel relieved, but even more confused.

"Why wouldn't it?"

"You were all about going to a big university together, and now Haru-chan's getting a job here instead," Nagisa said in a tone that implied it should have been obvious. Makoto is avoiding his eyes again. "So, what's it gonna be? You go without him? You both stay and throw away your dreams? Why?" Makoto looks more and more downcast by the second, and Nagisa knows Haru has his eyes on them, beginning to close the distance to join the conversation. Even Gou has stopped yelling at him in favour of edging closer to listen, and Rei is doing the same on the other side. Nagisa doesn't really care for any of them at the moment. "You've stopped holding hands, too," he finally says, as a declaration that overrules everything else, and oddly enough, this last part is the one that seems to affect the brunet the most, now looking like someone slapped him in the face.

"People are intolerant there."

Nagisa glances at Haru, who is approaching with a towel thrown over his head, piercing azure eyes glaring at the blond, though it somehow looks as if he isn't really targeting _him _with that glare, but rather, the people he is talking about. "We got some really bad comments," he continues matter-of-factly. "About..." He doesn't quite know how to word it, so he simply shrugs; it should be obvious enough. "Well, it made Makoto really uncomfortable, so we just stopped, to avoid hearing that kind of stuff."

"I've heard that it's more common in bigger places," Rei decides to join the conversation, his goggles hanging in his neck, wet bangs brushed out of his face as he pushes his regular glasses on. "They are more open to Western culture, and Western religion has a history of intolerance for anything that doesn't fit their standard traditions, including the fact that a romantic relationship should be between a man and a woman..." He trails away when he sees Makoto wince visibly; the brunet bites down so hard this time that his lip begins bleeding. "Ah, I'm sorry, Makoto-senpai... I didn't mean..." Gou hurries away to fetch the first aid kit, and there is a moment of awkward silence, but then it is Nagisa again who plows on.

"Well, okay, fine, people in big cities are jerks, but what does that have to do with how you guys are back home? Did you think _we'd _think any differently?" Haru merely gives a noncommittal shrug, which mostly just means he was simply going along with Makoto's wishes all along, but is already sort of offensive to Nagisa nonetheless, but it is still the vulnerable, lost expression on Makoto's face that makes him burst out, "What the hell, aren't we your friends, Mako-chan?!"

Makoto ducks his head and mumbles a semi-audible apology, but all of them jump when they hear a new voice enter the conversation (and Gou almost drops the first aid kit). "What a load of bullshit."

Nagisa has completely forgotten that Rin said he would join their practice today; surprisingly enough, he has brought along his short-haired _kouhai _as well. "If you really love something, you don't wanna hide it from the world, no matter what they might say," the redhead continues, staring straight at Haru as everyone turns towards them to greet them. It does not evade Nagisa's attention that the way Rin holds his arm loosely, the tips of his fingers still touch Ai's, as if they, too, had been holding hands, and have just let go upon arrival (further proven by the brilliant blush on the younger boy's face). "If you really wanna do something, just fucking _do it_, instead of coming up with excuses about why you can't!"

Nagisa can't really explain why this is the exact moment he bursts out laughing, but at least it breaks the tense atmosphere. "_You _would know, Rin-chan," he laughs, which makes Rin go almost as scarlet in the face as his hair is, and mutters something along the lines of 'shut the fuck up'. But Nagisa's attention is already elsewhere, back on the pair of Haruka and Makoto, the latter bowing his head down a bit to accommodate Haruka's height as the dark-haired boy whispers something into his ear, and even though there is only a hint of a smile that appears on Makoto's face, it already makes Nagisa's stomach fill with butterflies of happiness.

All right, so maybe it's none of his business, really. But, as he said, they are friends. So he cares. And when that afternoon he sees the two depart towards their homes with their fingers interlaced once more, Makoto seemingly having an almost vicelike grip on Haruka's hand, the blond is so happy that he swings his arms impulsively around a still half-undressed Rei's neck, and kisses him on the cheek, catching him completely off guard.

_oOo_

Makoto has to admit, it has been feeling like there was a solid case of ice around his heart in the past few weeks. When Haruka takes his hand once again, it's like warmth shoots through him, spreading everywhere, melting everything that has been frozen up. _'I told you,'_ is what Haru whispered into his ears at the poolside, and now he really has to admit what a fool he has been. "Why did you agree, then?" he murmurs, his grip tightening a little, to which he receives a low hiss in response.

"Makoto, you're crushing my fingers. What?"

"Oh, sorry, sorry." He loosens the contact a bit, but doesn't release. "Why did you agree with me, if you thought otherwise?"

Haruka shrugs noncommittally, but there is a small start of a blush on his cheekbones that doesn't go unnoticed. "I don't care what others think. They can talk all they want. But..." His voice drops a little lower. "I thought, if it makes Makoto happy..."

And, being in public be _**damned **_at this point, because there is just nobody in the entire world in this moment who could stop Tachibana Makoto from tugging his boyfriend to himself, wrapping him up into an embrace (again, a bit crushing, but Haru manages not to complain just yet), and giving him the most preposterously deep and loving of kisses Haruka has ever received from him.

* * *

**A/N:** I intended to cause no harm with Rei's religious comment. It is a fact that Shintō and Buddhism are much more open and accepting than Christianity is, and that same-sex relationships were a part of Japanese history, even a sign of authority, as many famous warlords have been known to have had such relationships prior to the Edo era. Discrimination only began when Japan was forced to open up for trade, and thus began adopting the culture of the West. To this day, smaller towns tend to be more traditional, so I thought it legible that they wouldn't cause a scandal in Iwatobi, or that people in general would be much more open-minded about it.


	4. Endless Snow

**Day 4**  
**Prompt:** Cuddle (I got a bit carried away with this one)  
**Summary:** "I'll find him," he says, his voice definite and calm, and by the looks on their faces, he, for once, managed to convince them of a courage he doesn't actually possess.

* * *

**Endless Snow**

_oOo_

"People will think you are actually a bear, Mako-chan."

As Makoto tries to pull his shoulders a bit closer together (not that it changes anything), and Rin bursts into laughter, Haruka folds his arms with a little huff. Truth be told, Nagisa has a _little _bit of a point, what with Makoto already being the tallest of them, and now dressed up in especially thick winter clothes, most prominent of which is the bulky red coat. it's not entirely fair; all of them are wearing similarly thick clothing, so it's just Makoto's height, or so Haruka thinks.

"I don't really think bears come in this colour, though," Makoto inclines his head, though Haruka can tell he feels a bit awkward.

"Well, your hair is brown enough!" Nagisa exclaims, and Haru's lips press even thinner together. Thankfully, Rei intervenes before anyone would lose patience.

"I think if anyone, you would represent a bear, Nagisa-kun..."

"What, but I'm wearing yellow?"

"... You know, those sold in stores, that contain honey..."

Nagisa bursts into a fit of giggles. "Rei-chan, are you saying I'm sweet?"

"What is everyone waiting for?" Saviour of the moment, Gou, slams the door against the wall, glaring daggers at everyone, but most prominently her brother (who in turn never really understands the reason for that). "These things," she indicates towards her heavy, almost rock-like boots, "are already killing me, and we haven't even had any fun yet, because you dorks keep arguing in here instead of getting _up there!_" She gestures towards the white-coated mountainside, and the boys, one by one, silently concede defeat. Winter sports are not bad at all! was what Gou had said. And then again and again, adding things like how it would build up their endurance, and their leg strength, up till the moment it was only Haruka categorically refusing, at which point, he had to come to the sudden realization that, if he indeed stayed at home, it would mean Makoto going without him.

That's how they ended up on this winter break skiing trip.

Now, as they trod upwards the mountainside, equipment in their hands or hoisted over shoulders, oddly enough, Rin seems to be the only one being content with the situation. Halfway up there, Makoto already looks uncomfortably hot in all the layers, Haru is still a bit disgruntled at Nagisa for reasons he is unsure _he _understands, while the blond keeps arguing back and forth with both Gou and Rei, who seems to know a bit about skiing himself (though Haruka guesses it is most likely just the theory he got from books, which he surely did as soon as they had learnt they were going to go on this trip). Rin has made no claims as to whether he can actually ski or not (they more or less decided that if Gou can, it had to mean Rin probably can too), but he definitely carries his things with a confident ease, his usual cocky grin in place, even though half of it is obscured by the thick scarf he wrapped around the lower half of his face.

It soon turns out that most of their assumptions were wrong. Skiing is much harder than they imagined, and Gou, despite being away from the pool, is still the ever so relentless manager that has brought them various brutal training menus. She is an excellent skier, but the learning process is painstakingly slow; the snow somehow feels more slippery under their skis than ice would feel in boots, and - surprise! - the first one landing on his bottom is none other than the redheaded girl's big brother (much to his chagrin, and the rest's amusement). Rei sort of learns the same way he learnt to swim butterfly; with every theory memorized, at first he still seems hopeless, falling into the most comical heaps possible, and often crashing into Nagisa, but eventually develops a pattern of his own, mixing professional moves together with his own technique, until he can at least reach the bottom of the slope without losing his glasses. Nagisa is enthusiastic, if a little too much so (maybe that's why he collides with Rei so often). Makoto seems to be the only one deciding to stick with Gou's instructions, learning in slow steps, perfecting his form first, and only then trying it out, so as to avoid injury. As for Haru... well, despite how much he complained, they all have to admit, even Rin (not that he wants to), that he seems to be a natural. His sloping has an elegant curve to it as he slides between other skiers, soon deciding to equip himself with ski sticks as well (which Gou has denied them first, saying it would only be a hindrance till they learn how to rely on their legs only), and even going as far as deciding to try out sliding down in one straight line, which accelerates him to a dangerous speed - something that Gou has strongly advised against (or rather, forbidden), but he finds it exhilarating anyways.

By the time late afternoon begins to tint the winter sky a fainter gray than it was before, all of them have to admit, much to Gou's satisfaction, that they are having fun. Even Rin manages to take the length of the lane without getting tangled in his own feet and falling face-first into the snow... about once every three tries. It is the last time they ascend with the ski lift, to the very same slope - there are others, of course, but they only began today, there would be time to explore when they were more steady on their skis - when Rin finally notices, still on the ski lift, at the rear of their line, looking ahead with a frown creasing his brow. His voice carries up the mountainside clearly as he yells, "Where's Haru?!", and Nagisa, who has just gotten off the lift at the top, almost falls into a bush in surprise.

Makoto feels his insides freeze up as he realizes Rin is right. Having been so caught up in trying to learn, he comes to the terrifying revelation that he cannot even recall when he last saw Haruka. An hour ago? Two? Four?! "Perhaps he stayed behind?" Rei suggests, removing his wide ski goggles to push his glasses up his nose. (Wearing them both at the same time is rather inconvenient, but as this was planned as a one time thing, he didn't think it necessary to invent in prescription goggles, not when this kind is big enough to accommodate him with enough space where he can wear glasses underneath, even if it feels a little cramped.) "He probably felt too tired for the last time, and is waiting for us at the bottom." It was rather clear that he is attempting to sound more confident than he actually feels, and sadly, they can tell.

"Wouldn't he have said so, though?" Nagisa pipes up, still trying to free his sleeve from the persistent bush that got him even though he didn't end up fully losing balance, and it is not until Rin decides to have mercy on him and lend a hand, that he can finally tug himself apart from it. "I'm gonna go check," the blond decides. "You guys just wait here, I'll be back soon!"

"But, Nagisa-kun, that means you'll have to slide down one time more than the rest of us..." Rei worries, plucking the bottom of his ski stick into the snow, and leaning on it. Nagisa looks around in the dimming light, and he only shrugs.

"Don't worry, Rei-chan, I'm not tired."

"I wouldn't want you to get hurt..."

"Well, I don't want Haru-chan to get hurt!" Nagisa responds, and a moment later he's off, and the vehemency in his words that still rings in the silence a moment later makes Makoto feel as if another icicle has been thrusted into his heart. At this point, all they can do is wait in silence; Gou clings to Rin, very obviously nearly in tears, and Rin lets her, for once. It is a good ten minutes before they can spot Nagisa sitting on the ski lift again, waving towards them with what they all desperately hope is a signal of relief, only for their stomachs to drop as one a moment later when the wind carries his voice. "He's not in the rest house! I haven't seen him anywhere down where we left our things!"

Makoto's decision is just as impulsive as Nagisa's was - except that nobody would have expected such behaviour from _him_. "I'll find him," he says, his voice definite and calm, and by the looks on their faces, he, for once, managed to convince them of a courage he doesn't actually possess. Nevertheless, that doesn't matter now - Haru does. "You guys go down, I'll meet you at the rest house."

"But, Mako-chan, you shouldn't go alone-..."

"I'll meet you there," Makoto repeats, and there is such an uncanny strictness in his voice, that it effectively shuts them all up for a moment - a moment which is just long enough for him to turn around and ski away, on another lane they haven't tried out yet (but, again, since Haruka is nowhere on this one, it must mean he tried someplace else).

By the time Rin recovers enough to yell "Makoto, that's bullshit-!" after him, he has already disappeared from their sight.

_oOo_

The light is fading rapidly - too fast, in fact, for comfort. Makoto has never been a fan of the darkness in general, but here, alone in the woods, it is even more terrifying; more than ever before. He needs every ounce of his mental strength to keep going; it is good that at least the path ahead of him is clear, not many skiers left on the lanes, as they all know how dangerous it is at night. At first, he is simply looking, rather than calling, not wanting to disrupt other people, but that caution is soon thrown to the wind. Haru is not at the bottom of the other lane he decided to slide down; a bottom which is actually a place for five different lanes to meet, coming down from five separate hills, and as he thinks of all the possibilities of the routes Haruka could have taken in this labyrinth of a ski resort, Makoto's heart is gripped by terror previously unknown to him, a kind of panicked fear that cannot even be compared to his fear of the sea, not even to the kind of scare he felt when he saw Rei among the waves. Here, as the last rays of sunlight begins to wane among the trees on top of the tallest hills, Makoto begins to feel as if the mountains surrounding him could collapse on him, suffocate him, much like a tsunami could - what if there was an avalanche?

He mounts another lane by ski lift, then yet another, still finding no trace of the dark-haired boy. When he is on the middle of his way upwards the third, the ski lifts stop working, switched off for the night.

Trudging up the mountainside, having taken off his skis, the hard shoes not meant for walking in them uncomfortably digging into his calves and his ankle bones sore, Makoto thinks he has never been more alone in his life.

Finally, he begins calling out Haruka's name; first a loud, clear yell that rings through the surroundings, echoing off untouched, pristine walls of snow, then, as he plows on, now barely seeing where he is even going, his voice breaks more and more, till it is nothing but a hoarse whisper, and the only remaining thing that keeps him from crying is the knowledge that the tears would probably freeze onto his face. Nonetheless, he doesn't stop. He isn't sure anymore of what keeps driving him, but it's the same kind of drive that made him plunge into the angry sea to save Rei back then - except that this time, even in spite of how terrified he is, his feet seem to keep carrying him of their own accord; he does not freeze up in fright, not when he knows for sure that he is on his own, and thus, he is the only hope for Haruka - the person he cherishes above anything, above his own fears, his own _life_.

And then, _finally_... Makoto at first hardly dares to believe his eyes. Surely his fright of the darkness surrounding him has addled his mind a little, he is only seeing things he wishes to see? But, no... it really is actually true, he realizes as he begins to close the rest of the distance, his shoes semi-filled with snow, and his knees heavy as rocks. It actually is Haruka's figure collapsed in a heap at the bottom of a tree, his lower half covered in snow that most likely fell on him from the branches when he collided with the trunk. Makoto's skis drop into the snow with a clatter, and he falls on his knees next to the other, tugging a glove off with his teeth to touch Haruka's face. "Haru!" he cries out; his cheek is ice cold to the touch, even though Makoto knows his own hand must be fairly cool now, too, despite the gloves, and he is pale as a ghost, even next to the whiteness of the snow next to him. The glove falls to the ground between them as Makoto calls his name again, his voice now hysterical in earnest, and he gives Haruka's shoulder a shake that's maybe a little too firm. He can't... He can't possibly be...

Haruka's eyes slowly flutter open; it clearly takes him a couple of excruciatingly low moments to focus his vision, but then he manages to mumble, the words barely making it past his blue-frozen lips, "Mako...to..." And Makoto really badly wants to cry now, but he still can't, not while they are out in the middle of nowhere, just the two of them. The brunet thanks whatever gods exist that Haruka didn't wander off of the lane into the woods; nobody would have found him then. This is still an obscure enough lane on its own, Makoto can't even figure out where it ends.

"Haru, come on, we need to get back to the others," he says gently, though his voice rises in pitch at the end of the sentence as he sees Haruka's head lull to the side, eyes half-lidded. "Haru...!" Hastily, he tugs his glove back on and stands, pulling the other with himself. With how easily he comes, it is at least confirmed that he doesn't have any broken bones, but with how incoherent he is, Makoto is fairly sure the dark-haired boy has a concussion. "You need to stay awake, okay?" he nudges him in the side, maybe a little too sharply. Haruka is still wearing his skis - it's a little odd, seeing as they should come off when someone takes a big fall, but at least this way, they don't have to search for them in the dark. Unfortunately, the ski sticks are nowhere to be found, but Makoto doesn't bother to search for them. They need to get back to the others first; one task at a time. If they can make it, he'll gladly pay the fee for the lost poles.

He doesn't have a map of the resort with him - the only one they got is with Gou -, and he has no idea how far they are from the starting point to even attempt to find their way around; so there is only one solution, and that is, to retrace the exact steps Makoto took when he was searching. Makoto picks up all four skis with one arm, hoisting them over a shoulder, and then he secures Haruka in his grip on the other side, having the shorter boy lean into his side as they walk, painstakingly slowly, the darkness ever growing. Makoto can't even see his earlier footprints anymore, despite the fact that no snow has fallen all day, so all he can do is go by his memory, and pray they don't get even more lost. From time to time, he gives Haru a bit of a thrust at the hips (seeing that his hands are full), to keep him awake, but more often than not, it feels as if he is carrying the other, rather than having Haru walk along with support; something that only makes his panic rise even further.

He doesn't actually realize it when he finally begins crying - he only notices that halfway up the fourth hill (there is two more, maybe three? he is not quite sure) Haruka suddenly stops, and dread grips the brunet, thinking the other has lost consciousness, only to meet Haruka's brilliant, almost fierce gaze a moment later, and to finally become aware of the fact of how ragged his breathing is. "Makoto, we'll be fine," Haruka says, his voice still faint, but still carrying a certainty that's somehow stronger than all of Makoto's resolve put together. "I'm right here." And it's all Makoto can do to sniffle and nod, and tighten his arm around Haruka's waist a little as he turns towards the path ahead again.

Somewhere deep down, he knows that later on, when all of this is behind them, he is going to be extremely angry with Haruka - but, for now, just with those couple of reassuring words, he manages to find solace in the other's company, this endless darkness they now share together, along with the sheer will to **keep going**.

_oOo_

It's all a huge mess when they reach back to the rest house. Rin is waiting outside, wearing nothing but a sweater, pacing up and down like a caged lion, and hauls them inside into the warmth so quickly that Makoto promptly drops all of their equipment in front of the door, and it is left there, forgotten, for the time being. The next moment, Haruka is pulled from Makoto's side - he wants to protect reflexively, until he realizes that the person doing so is a suave-looking doctor, who could immediately tell (probably partially by information he received earlier) that Haruka is in greater need of examination. Makoto is chilled to the bone, too, of course, not to mention so weary he thinks he could just sleep standing up right where he is, but it's nothing that can't be cured with a hot mug of tea and a pile of blankets back at the hotel. He doesn't really have much of a chance to even sit down, anyway, because the next moment, both Gou and Nagisa are sobbing with their arms around him, and for a couple of minutes, everything just dissolves around the brunet into a hazy blur of his friends' relieved babbling, the doctor's strict but warm tone issuing instructions and asking Haruka questions, and his own exhaustion.

Haruka, it turns out, was extremely lucky; he only has a minor concussion, and as Makoto manages to vaguely calculate out just how long it took the two of them to find their way back, the doctor also arrives at the conclusion that Haruka should be allowed to sleep, once they reach back to the hotel, although until then, he should still be kept awake, just to be on the safe side - something Haruka acknowledges with obvious annoyance, but Makoto, who has by now managed to more or less recover from the sheer shock of everything that has transpired, manages to give him such a withering look that the dark-haired boy ends up staying silent, looking to the side with obvious guilt in his eyes. A part of Makoto wants nothing else than to hold him, to reassure both of them that they are now all right, but with his panic wearing off, he finds himself so angry that he even surprises himself with his own feelings. He pointedly takes the seat next to Rei on the bus ride back to the hotel, and Haruka ends up by Rin's side, who looks less than amused at the task of having to continuously poke him awake being thrust upon him (but does it without complaint nonetheless).

However, once they arrive, it is quite obvious that they cannot ignore each other any longer. Makoto and Haruka do share a room, after all, all by themselves. Still, even though it's past midnight, Makoto goes off to shower without a word, fully expecting Haruka to have fallen asleep by the time he finishes. Sure enough, the other is in bed when he comes out of the bathroom, but it is not until he has pulled on his pajamas and is about to climb into his own bed that Haruka finally speaks, letting him know he is actually awake.

"Makoto..."

The brunet halts abruptly, one corner of his blanket in his hand, which he was about to fold back to climb underneath. Haruka is now looking at him, laying on his side facing Makoto in his bed; he looks somehow _shaky _and fragile, and Makoto thinks his lips still look slightly purple from the cold. He holds his breath for a second, but Haru doesn't say anything else, and Makoto finally caves in with a sigh, grabbing his blanket and bringing it over to Haruka's bed, laying it on top of the other.

"I don't want-..."

"Shut up."

Haruka still looks like he wants to protest, but his features relax when Makoto climbs in next to him, and pulls him to himself without another word, enveloping him in his own warmth in addition of the heat provided by two set of thick blankets. Haruka scoots as close as humanly possible, completely silent, his cold cheek pressing against Makoto's chest while his arm loops itself around the taller one's waist, and after a minute or so, Makoto finally allows himself to _really_ relax, too, maybe for the first time ever since they discovered Haru had disappeared.

"I've never been this scared before." Makoto is almost sure Haruka is asleep, his breathing is so even, but with the way his arm tightens around the brunet's waist, it's obvious he isn't. "_Ever_," Makoto adds with emphasis, his voice a quivering whisper, knowing Haruka would understand more than anyone else in the entire world.

"I'm sorry," Haruka murmurs, his embrace tightening even further, and despite the height difference, it somehow feels as if he is holding Makoto now, not the other way around. Makoto relishes in the feel of it without shame - Haru has always been his rock, only too willing to allow him to depend on him when Makoto felt he couldn't manage by himself, and the thought of how close he has come to losing that tonight, losing Haruka, is just altogether too much to bear alone. "I really am, Makoto." His own voice is barely above a whisper, but there is more emotion in it than he would allow anyone else to hear but Makoto; he sounds genuinely regretful, and that's enough for the other.

_It's okay now_, Makoto thinks, _we're okay._ But what he ends up saying instead, in a surprisingly demanding tone, is, "Don't do it again."

"I won't," Haruka promises, and even though he sounds sincere, Makoto can tell he's smiling slightly. He doesn't really mind, especially when Haruka tugs him even closer, one of his legs slipping in between Makoto's; they are still ice cold, despite the rest of him having warmed up now, and Makoto lets out a hiss of surprise. Haru glances up at him, his eyes sparkling with the hidden smile nobody but Makoto can detect, and there is a hint of surprising mischief to his voice as he adds, "You know, maybe Nagisa has a point."

"... What?"

"You really are kind of like a bear." Pause. "Although I like your bear hugs much better this way; without as many layers between us..."

"Go to sleep, Haru."


	5. Don't Ever

**Day 5**  
**Prompt:** Outgrown  
**Summary:** Haruka misses him achingly, misses his company, misses even the times when they do nothing together except sitting out on his porch, watching the sky, both of them immersed in their own thoughts.

* * *

**Don't Ever**

_oOo_

This is such an odd distance to be having between the two of them. At least, Haruka certainly thinks it's odd. He even arrives at the rather unsettling conclusion that he did something wrong. Why else would Makoto be distancing himself from him? He wishes there was some sort of explanation, but Haruka just can't figure it out, and it's frustrating. Why does Makoto act so differently these days? He's just a little quieter on their walks than usual, as if he thinks Haru doesn't want to listen to him talk. (Haru always listens, though, even when it looks like he isn't paying attention.) And even when he does talk, he asks more about Haru than he talks about himself. Somehow, it feels as if something made Makoto lose confidence, but whether it's in himself or in Haruka, it's hard to tell. Did he do something wrong? Although he knows Makoto better than anyone else does, it's still the brunet who is really good at guessing Haruka's thoughts, not the other way around, and that leaves the dark-haired boy at a rather bad headspace with a hundred worries. He even goes as far as asking Nagisa whether Makoto has talked to him about whatever it was that bothered him, despite the fact that he really dislikes it when the blond butts his nose into their stuff, but Nagisa doesn't know; Makoto behaves just like usual, except for these few _oddities_.

Now, Makoto is not very good at lying - that is a little bit of solace, because when Haruka finally realizes that Makoto isn't catching up to his thoughts this time, and manages to gather the necessary words to ask him what's wrong with him, the 'nothing at all' he receives as a response sounds sincere enough. Makoto's smile is sincere as well; it's as if nothing has changed. _'I still love Haru,'_ is what the black-haired boy interprets it as, and he breathes a little easier for a moment, even if it still bothers him, to some extent, that all of a sudden, Makoto needs all this space, without telling him why. Even though there is no physical distance, it still feels like there is a bubble of air between them, a bubble that Haruka cannot burst to reach across; he just bounces off of it instead.

Nevertheless, as soon as that smile is not in front of him, the nagging worry is back, and no amount of _excuses-that-don't-really-sound-like-excuses-but-they-are-excuses-anyway _can make up for it. (Yes, that's what Haruka calls them now in his head. Still, he doesn't know how to ask, what to ask, not anymore. He did ask once, he got a response, what use would be asking again? Why would the response be any different?

After a while, though, it looks as if there is some sort of strain on Makoto. He becomes a little less talkative, there are a few more circles under his eyes, and it doesn't sound nearly as honest anymore when he says he's only nervous about their upcoming exams. And yet, perhaps for the first time ever in their lives, Makoto doesn't budge. Even when it becomes obvious that he is hiding something, he refuses to tell what it is; he keeps biting the inside of his cheek, but the reply Haruka so wants to hear doesn't come, and the shorter boy begins to wonder, in an idle sort of fashion, if he has hurt Makoto in some way without knowing.

When he presents that question to Makoto, for the first time since this has been going on, the brunet wavers. "Hurt me...?" he repeats, dumbfounded. "No, of course not, Haru! Where did _that _come from?" Haru believes him. He can't _not _believe, when the idea that this has even passed his mind seems to cause Makoto grief. By the look on his face, it's like Haruka has just stabbed him in the chest. He's even gripping at his shirt, as if it physically aches, and Haruka is beginning to think of more drastical methods of forcing Makoto to tell him the truth. He absolutely hates it that the person closest to him in the entire world is hiding something so important from him. It makes him wonder... if _he _is likewise still the person most important in Makoto's life, too.

The fact that that thought even crosses his mind makes Haruka sort of hate himself a bit.

He can't even really tell anymore how long this has been going on, but it is eating away at him, and he knows, he's absolutely sure, that it is eating away at Makoto too. It's been maybe three full weeks. This is the longest time since they've become friends that Makoto hasn't visited his house in the afternoon, even though he still waits for him on top of the stairs every morning in weekdays. Haruka misses him achingly, misses his company, misses even the times when they do nothing together except sitting out on his porch, watching the sky, both of them immersed in their own thoughts. It begins to feel as if they don't even have much to do with each other anymore, and the thought of that is suffocating.

It's in the early afternoon, but given the weather conditions outside, it could just as well be at night. For the past week, there have been numerous thunderstorms, and their teacher brought the news that a tsunami was coming, about twenty minutes ago. Now, it's not expected to be huge, but for the sake of safety, the homes too close to the ocean have been evacuated, and most of the small town is gathered in the school building until the natural disaster passes. Haruka reflexively searches for Makoto's eyes with his own, but Makoto is once again out of sight. Haruka thinks back to the fact that the brunet hasn't called him once during the past week's nights, even though he'd used to do it every time there was a storm too big to let them sleep - and he decides to just find himself a more quiet corridor, preferably not packed full of people.

He almost manages to slip away, when someone catches him by the arm. Looking around, Haruka isn't the least bit surprised to find his blond friend hanging onto his sleeve; forever the meddler, Nagisa. He means well, though, and his eyes are full of concern, and honestly, Haruka feels the same concern deep down, so he cannot honestly find it in himself to feel upset at the other. "Where's Mako-chan?!" the younger boy demands, and - unusual, but not fully surprising - Haruka can detect actual fear in his voice, too. He changes his mind with the speed of light.

"I'm looking for him right now," he replies firmly, tugging his sleeve out of Nagisa's grip. "You stay with Rei and Gou."

It's almost impossible to find anyone among so many people out in the corridors, as rain lashes against the windows so loud that it almost drowns out the voice of the crowd, but, for once, Haruka's instincts lead him to the right place. Makoto is back in their classroom, sitting on the floor in a corner, his forehead rested on his knees, his hands on the two sides of his head as he tries to block out all the noise. Haruka kneels before him, tugging his hands away. "Makoto," he calls, urgency in his voice. "Makoto."

Makoto jumps as if bitten, his eyes wide with fear. This is like his worst nightmare come true, and Haruka would do anything to make it _not _happen. Why does Makoto just **have **to keep being reminded of his worst fear? And why can't Haruka do anything about it anymore? Why doesn't _Makoto _let him? "_**Why?**_" The question slips out quicker than he can think about what he is saying. Makoto is looking at him with a mixture of bewilderment and fright, but once he started, there is no stopping for Haruka. Makoto is clearly too scared to know what Haruka means, so he has to speak his mind for once. "Why have you stopped coming to me, Makoto? Why can't you trust me anymore? Why don't you want this - _us _- anymore?" He doesn't even know if he actually wants to hear the answer, if he can _take it_, but he goes on anyway. "Have you **outgrown **me, Makoto? Moved on? Is it me holding you back...?" The expression on Makoto's face makes it harder with every word; there is so much raw pain in the brunet's eyes that Haruka's voice just falters, and then fades away altogether.

The next moment, Makoto's arms are reaching around him, and Haruka falls to his knees before he can find his balance. "I'm sorry..." He can feel Makoto's cheek press against his own, and he's not sure if he's only imagining it being a little damp. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, Haru..." And Haru feels like he can't quite breathe, because Makoto is apologizing, but he is not denying any of what Haru has said.

Or, is he?

The brunet's arms tighten convulsively around Haruka's waist when a bolt of thunder strikes through the sky, and his next words are staggered, as if he's breathless from the fright. "I'm sorry I made you feel that way, I-I-... I don't... I _can't _outgrow you..." It's like a lead weight that has been hooked onto Haruka's limbs for the past days just evaporates into nothingness. He lets out a sigh, and tightens his own hold, even though kneeling in the corner like this is cramped and uncomfortable. "I just thought... I shouldn't keep relying on you all the time," Makoto adds, his words growing more and more quiet with each passing second.

"... What?" Haruka thinks he heard wrong. "Did someone say something to you?" he demands immediately. "Who said relying on me was wrong?"

"Nobody... I just... can't keep hiding behind Haru all the time, can I?" Makoto's voice is still shaky, and he pulls away a little, ducking his head - but Haruka is the one this time who doesn't let him, tugging him back towards himself, till the taller boy's forehead is resting against his chest.

"I never said I mind, did I?" he murmurs, half relieved, half annoyed. It's so like Makoto, to make such a big deal out of something like this. "You really are a hopeless overthinker..." Although, to stick with it for so long, without telling Haruka, that was a first. (He hopes there isn't going to be a second.) "I rely on you, too. Don't I?"

"B-But that's... different," Makoto mumbles, now pulling away altogether, his face flushed, his eyes downcast. Haru doesn't resist the temptation to roll his eyes.

"Different how? You rely on me, I rely on you, I don't see the problem."

"... You really don't...?" One would think Makoto sounds a little incredulous, but actually, there is nothing but honest surprise, and a spurt of _hope_. "You... do you really mean that, Haru?"

Haru presses his forehead against Makoto's. "I need you," he says in an unusually soft tone. "You know I do."

There is a momentary pause. "I know," Makoto finally replies simply, but his own voice has warmed up a little; he is still obviously scared (what with everything going on, Haruka really isn't surprised about that), but he sounds so much less strained, as if he, too, is relieved over having resolved this at long last. He sounds very much like the old Makoto, the one who knows what Haruka thinks without Haruka having to say it, and the dark-haired boy finds solace in that.

"Then don't you dare outgrow me," he all but growls, and Makoto actually _laughs_ - only to cling to Haruka again a moment later when the next bolt of lightning arrives, face pressed firmly into the other's shoulder; and Haruka is all too happy to grant him the safe haven he has always been.

He won't want to grow this out anytime soon, either.


	6. I Just Know You

**Day 6**  
**Prompt:** Mind Reader  
**Summary:** _'As if you had to ask.'_

* * *

**I Just Know You**

_oOo_

Their feet hitting the pavement creates a rhythm; it is well known to both of them, always the same, bringing a sense of security that neither would admit to, but there is no need anyways - the other knows. They turn the corner they always turn on their usual route home, a crooked alley with a long flight of stone steps leading downwards; they can see the glimmer of the ocean far ahead. This is the corner that finally takes them away from the wide main road their school is situated on, and as such, it is the part of the journey where their fingers just slide together, fitting perfectly into the spaces between the other's.

They still don't make much of a habit of holding hands in front of other people, if they can help it; with the exception of their friends, who wouldn't make any sort of comment to make them feel uncomfortable anyways. As soon as they are out of sight, though, one or the other always reaches for the other, only to find that the other one was about to do the same, too, and thus, they meet halfway. At those times, Haruka's eyes always glimmer in that special way that Makoto has always interpreted as Haruka's way of showing amusement, instead of actual laughter, and Makoto always blushes in return - it's odd, when he thinks about it, that he still would, after all this time, but even when he clearly holds the title of 'the person who knows Nanase Haruka better than anyone else', there is a novelty about it that just never wears off.

"What's on your mind?" The comfortable silence is broken by Makoto, and Haruka's expression is nothing short of startled as he looks at the brunet. "... What?" Makoto blinks, only to break into a sheepish smile. "I can't even ask that sometimes?"

Haruka huffs a little indignantly. "It's just odd. It's not like you really _need _to ask."

"Haru, you know I'm not _actually _reading your mind, right?" Makoto asks, a hint of playfulness in his voice. Haruka blinks at him, and his blink says _yes, you are_. Makoto can't help but laugh. "I swear, I'm not, Haru. Nobody can do that, actually."

"Then what is it?" Haruka asks, sounding bored, but Makoto knows he's interested in hearing the response anyways. If from nothing else, then from the way his fingers tighten a little bit around Makoto's, and as he looks towards the sea, Makoto thinks he can see the shimmer of the surface of the water reflect in the azure blue of his eyes - except the ocean is too far away yet for that to be actually true.

"I just know you," Makoto say simply, and his steps slow as he tugs Haruka a little closer to himself. As a result, the dark-haired boy slips, and almost falls down the stairs, but Makoto is thankfully quick enough to catch him and pull him back up. "Sorry, sorry. I thought you were paying attention to where you were going." For that, he gets a sour look as a response, but Haru still doesn't look actually angry.

For how long have they been putting up with each other's antics, after all? Makoto has stopped counting the time. He simply enjoys it as it passes now; every moment he can spend in Haruka's company.

"I know you too." Haruka's gaze is now fixed on the steps, but his grip is firm, and Makoto's smile is even happier than before.

"Of course you do."

"So how come it's only you reading my mind?"

"... eh?" That makes Makoto stop altogether, and Haru has to turn back as he feels the taller boy's hand tug on his, their fingers still interlaced. "But, you do, too!"

"I do?" Haruka looks confused now, and with his back turned to the light, the shimmer has faded. "I didn't notice..."

Makoto starts walking again, readjusting the strap of his schoolbag, his expression nothing short of dreamy - something that amuses Haruka a little, but he doesn't interrupt the other's thoughts anyway, wanting to hear the response.

... Is _that _the answer? Haruka blinks as the thought enters his mind. Maybe Makoto just says things easier, and so he says things even though it's not fully necessary? Or...?

"Haru has never pushed me away," Makoto finally says, now sounding a little distant, if not downright wistful, and Haruka's thoughts fade into nothingness as he focuses on the brunet instead, not wanting to miss a single word. "Right from the beginning, when others would make fun of me, Haru never did that. I always felt... that you just read it all out of my eyes, what I was asking for, knew that I was asking for it because I really needed it, and not because I just wanted your attention... Not like some who would tell me I'm 'too old' now to be afraid." His voice has grown quiet, but it's just the two of them, their footsteps echoing off the narrow walls, and each words grinds into Haruka's mind, making an odd feeling swell in his chest; some weird mixture of happiness and sadness he cannot explain. "Haru knows I can't help it... and I never had to say so." He finally looks at the other, and he's blushing more than before, but he looks happy, and Makoto looking happy is enough reason for Haruka not to worry. "If what I do counts as mind-reading, so does what you do for me."

That's all it takes for the sadness to evaporate, leaving only the other half behind. They are now on top of the steps that lead to both of their houses; Makoto's first, then Haruka's a little lower on.

_You're coming over, right?_

"I'm coming over for a while, if that's okay. We didn't get much homework anyway."

Haruka wants to really laugh, for once. _As if you had to ask._


	7. Juicy

**Day 7**  
**Prompt:** Locked Up  
**Summary:** Haruka gets carried away easily, when it's about the things he loves.

* * *

**Juicy**

_oOo_

"Oh, damn it, Ren!"

"Haru," Makoto frowns, "don't curse like that in front of the kids..."

"But, come on, look what he's done..." Haru complains, while Makoto doesn't even really pay attention; he's busy picking up his little brother from the floor, where he fell after he'd tripped in the leg of a chair - and, much to Haruka's dismay, spilled the juice from the glass he'd been holding all over his big brother's black-haired friend in the process.

"Go find yourself a spare shirt..." Makoto really can't spare much of his attention at the moment; the glass broke, and there are shards everywhere; he needs to get Ren to a safe distance from the pieces, and then clean up the mess.

"... Fine..." Haruka sighs, giving Ren a dirty look. Of course, it's not that he doesn't like Makoto's siblings, but he's wearing one of his favourite shirts, and the syrup-like cherry juice definitely leaves a stain. Plus, he'd been hoping to spend some quality time together with Makoto this afternoon, but then Makoto's mother had to rush into town for something, and the brunet got stuck with babysitting. Talk about a ruined Sunday.

Makoto is still trying to calm Ren down while Haru leaves the scene in a rather disgruntled mood. He doesn't look any happier ten minutes later when the other joins him, after having cleaned everything, and switched on some cartoon for the little ones to watch while he tends to Haruka. The thought brings a smile to his lips, even despite how annoyed the other is. Things like this really make him feel like Haruka is just as much a part of his family now as his blood relatives. After all, he can hardly imagine life without him anyways.

"These are all too big," Haruka complains, holding up one of Makoto's shirts, his head poking out of his closet. "Come and help me," he demands. "Don't you have some of your older stuff in here? Something not _giant-sized_?"

Makoto laughs a bit, and he is all too eager to comply with the wish to help - Haruka's bare chest is way too distracting.

So distracting, in fact, that he stubs his toes on the edge of the closet door on his way, and falls against Haruka with a yelp. Instinctively, the shorter boy drops the shirt he is holding, and attempts to catch Makoto, but they still end up on the floor in a heap of tangled limbs - and the door of the closet shuts on them with a **click**.

"Did Ren inherit the two left feet from you?" Haruka grumbles, trying to adjust his eyes to the sudden darkness. "Get off me, Makoto, I can't breathe. Where's the light switch?"

"That's not how genetics work, Haru," Makoto chuckles, but there is a hint of awkwardness in his voice that Haruka catches instantly. "... The switch is outside."

"Well then open the door and flick it on, for Heaven's sake-..."

"There's no handle on the inside."

Stunned silence. Haruka tries to reason with himself; it's just so _absurd_, that they are locked in here, in Makoto's pitch black closet, while nobody else is in the house but Ran and Ren, who are downstairs watching a movie. Well, at least Makoto isn't laying on top of him anymore, so he can catch his breath again - in fact, Makoto seems to have disappeared entirely from his side, and Haruka has to feel around in the darkness for a couple of seconds before he finds him. Makoto jerks involuntarily when Haruka's fingers brush against his ankle, and he curls into an even tighter ball.

"... Makoto." Haruka doesn't sound angry anymore. In fact, he sounds concerned. It's not all that hard to remember that Makoto hates the darkness.

"S-Sorry, Haru," Makoto manages, voice and limbs both shaky. "I screwed up..."

Haruka frowns. "Didn't you just tell me off for swearing?" Makoto laughs a bit, and Haruka allows himself an open smile, since nobody can see it in the dark anyway. _Success. _"Hey, it wasn't your fault."

"But, it could be hours till they find us, and-..."

"It still wasn't your fault."

Makoto looks up - Haruka begins to be able to tell at least that much, as the contours of the other's figure begin to part from the solid darkness. He can see now the knobs on the drawers in the faint line of light seeping through underneath the firmly shut door.

"That's right, it wasn't!" It's Haruka's turn to give a little start. "It was Haru's fault," Makoto continues, and Haruka can tell he's pouting. He frowns in response. "You were too distracting, without a shirt on." _Double success. _Haruka is a little offended at being faulted for their predicament, but if Makoto is making fun of him like that, he can't be that afraid. He catches hold of Makoto's hand, and presses his palm against his bare chest, smiling again. He thinks he can see Makoto's eyes widen, but he's not sure - is it because of the feel of bare skin under his fingertips, or is it because his eyes have adjusted enough to see Haruka's smile?

"In that case, would you like some more distraction?"

Makoto inhales sharply. "I'd love that."

Haruka scoots closer in the darkness, and continues to guide Makoto's hand. He can't help but marvel at how big his hand is. With his guidance, those long fingers travel up his chest to dig slightly into his hair, and then cup his face. A thumb strokes Haruka's temple, and he is not at all hesitant to lean into the kiss. Makoto tastes a bit like cherry syrup, and he can feel him smiling into the kiss, his tense muscles already relaxing. Makoto scares easily, but as long as he can be close to Haruka, he's always fine - and there is not much closer he can get at the moment.

_Although..._

A moment later, Haruka finds he may have to reenact that statement. Not that he would be sorry to, not with how Makoto's free arm is wrapping around his waist, pulling him a bit closer, and his hand lets go of his cheek, trailing down his chest again, and then comes to a halt a little lower than the shorter boy would have expected - right above a certain sensitive _part _that has already begun growing a little, due to the intensity of their kiss, but with how Makoto's fingers are wrapping around him through the fabric of his pants, the process continues all the more rapidly. "Makoto," he breathes, breaking the kiss for a moment to gasp for air - it's insane, how Makoto can rouse him with something as simple as a touch - but Makoto merely smiles, and his smile is very visible now that they've both grown accustomed to the lack of light.

"This is distracting enough, isn't it?"

But Haruka gets carried away easily, when it's about the things he loves. Making love to Makoto is definitely somewhere on top of that list, and Makoto himself, well, he is so high he cannot even be categorized. Put the two together, and... "I think you can get way more distracted than this."

Makoto is a little disappointed when Haruka slides away from under his touch, but not when he can feel the other's palms sliding underneath his own shirt. He begins to tug it off, but Haruka leans in to press his lips against his collarbone, and the movement is halted. "Didn't you say it'd be a few hours before we're found? Where are you hurrying?" Makoto laughs, and drops his hand, head tilting backwards as Haruka pulls the neck of his shirt to the side to press a row of kisses to said collarbone. Fear of the dark is completely forgotten now; Makoto is too heated to think of anything except Haruka right in front of him, Haruka being more affectionate than he has ever seen him behave anywhere where it isn't just the two of them, Haruka expressing every intention, both verbally and nonverbally, to make love to him. The dark is nothing more now than a slight inconvenience; Makoto finds himself wishing he could stare into Haruka's eyes, get lost in their azure shine.

He'll have to make do with touching and feeling. Not that there isn't enough of it. Haruka's hands are once again underneath his clothing; Makoto spreads his legs for easier access, as his knees were pulled up to his chest, but Haruka is reaching down, and Makoto wouldn't want to deny him what they both want. A moment later, his cool fingers wrap around Makoto's length, and he covers his mouth with a hand to muffle his gasp.

"It's like we're doing this for the first time," Haruka notes with a hint of amusement in his voice, and Makoto exhales loudly, feeling as if electricity is shooting up his spine when Haruka squeezes him a little.

"Every time is like that," he whispers breathlessly, and he hopes Haru can see at least a bit of his expression right now, because it reflects that endless kind of love that he has always reserved for Haru only. He pulls Haru close to himself, close enough so that Haruka has to pull his hand free from Makoto's pants, or it would feel extremely cramped; he reaches for Makoto's hair instead when they kiss again. "Every time, I fall a little bit more in love with Haru-chan all over again," Makoto adds, the words a hushed, breathy murmur against the black-haired boy's lips, and Haruka has to admit it to himself; when Makoto is talking like that, it'd be hard not to fall in love with him likewise, all over again.

It would be hard for either of them to hold back, after this point. In spite of what Haruka said about not having to hurry, a couple of seconds later Makoto finds himself shirtless as well, with Haruka's lips pressed against his skin and dragging a wet line down his stomach. The brunet leans back, trying to even out his breathing (an almost impossible task), deciding to just let the other do what he pleases with him. After all, he promised to provide a distraction. They don't usually have an agreement on who is taking the initiative, but today seems to be Haruka's day. Makoto thinks it's only fair, since it's his shirt that got ruined, and it is because of Makoto that they are stuck in here. (Not that at this moment either of them is concerned with said predicament.)

With what Haruka is currently doing to him, it is not long before Makoto finds himself completely sprawled on his back instead of propped up on his elbows, once again re-learning to breathe. At least, that's what it feels like; he can only manage ragged gasps, and he imagines he is seeing stars, even though they are still in almost complete darkness. His upper body arches into a bridge when he feels Haruka's mouth lower to a certain point, and he lets out a shuddering moan while the other's tongue is enveloping his length, and Makoto is not unhappy about the door being closed anymore.

Some half an hour later, when both of them are spent, lying next to each other on the floor, Haruka says lazily, "You know, from now on, whenever you get scared of the dark, you can just think of this instead." Makoto thinks he can definitely see the other's smile now, though that doesn't stop him from blushing red as a tomato, and stammering,

"How does that make it better? Instead of scared, I'd be embarrassed!" he protests, but a moment later, he slaps a hand over Haruka's mouth, freezing up. "Oh my god, is that my mom...?"

"... Well, we did want to be found..."

"I think we didn't really think this through."


	8. Just Fine

**Day 8**  
**Prompt:** Jealous  
**Summary:** _"You were always laughing."_

* * *

**Just Fine**

_oOo_

"I love you," Haruka says simply.

_It was such an odd progression_, Makoto thinks with a smile, as he scoots closer on the couch, and presses a kiss against Haruka's cheek. He still can't get used to this; it's funny to think back to how Haruka has always been talking about being _free_, but compared to what he is like nowadays, one cannot truly say he used to be, back then. Makoto likes to think it is at least partially thanks to him, to the relationship they now share, that Haruka has gotten more used to freely expressing himself, even if he mostly only does it when him and Makoto are alone.

One step at a time.

"But I didn't always."

Makoto freezes up, even as Haruka's fingers thread into his hair, the sudden confession leaving him breathless and goosefleshed. What could that possibly mean? It doesn't sound good, not at all. If he dared to meet Haruka's eyes, he would see that the azure gaze is apologetic, and a little bit amused, but he doesn't - he looks in the other direction, and tries to swallow. "W-What do you mean, Haru?" he asks weakly, and it takes a sharp poke in the ribs for him to turn back towards the other, startled - only to have Haru's lips press against his without warning. Whatever else he meant to ask dies in his throat immediately; as it was proven before, it's hard for him to stay focused on negative feelings when the other is this close to him.

Haruka breaks the kiss first, lowering his head, and pressing its side against Makoto's chest, as if listening to his heartbeat. "When I first met you, I didn't like you at all."

"What do you mean...?" Makoto repeats, but he is nowhere near as frantic anymore. Haruka really doesn't sound like all of this is a big deal; it sounds nothing more than a story, and Makoto is willing to listen, even though he rather dislikes the beginning thus far.

"I was jealous."

Makoto blinks, confused; Haruka's voice is the usual, almost emotionless except for a slight hint of something that would be undetectable to anyone else, and even Makoto has a hard time figuring out what exactly it is. He simply waits, but it seems that Haruka wants to be urged on, and after a couple of seconds of silence, Makoto decides, with a semi-amused smile, to humour him. "Why jealous? It's not like I was cool as a kid," he notes with a small chuckle. "Haru-chan was the cool one."

Haruka glances up. "That's what you thought?"

Makoto nods. "I was a bit jealous of Haru-chan, too," he admits. "You were never picked on by anyone. You seemed like a really strong person."

"Not knowing how to make friends isn't really a strength," Haruka states flatly, and Makoto is once again a little stunned. Is that how Haruka thought about it back then? It seems strange to think about it now; the memories are a little glossy, after all this time, but as Makoto remembers it, Haruka had no problem making friends with _him_. As Makoto remembers it, Haruka just decided to step right next to him and take his hand, and from that day on, anyone who wanted to pick on Makoto had Haruka to answer to; Makoto was safe, and happy to have such a friend.

Haruka seems to remember differently, though. He settles a little more comfortably, leaning against Makoto's side rather than his chest (the couch isn't wide enough for that, unless he sits in his lap and... he'd rather concentrate on the conversation right now), and laces their fingers together, glancing up to find those light green eyes again, and lock their gazes as he says, "It seemed so easy for you to make friends." Makoto blinks, but he doesn't interrupt this time, as Haruka is already continuing, "Even if some people picked on you, there were loads more who liked you. You laughed so easily. You were always laughing." _Almost always_, Makoto thinks, but he's too bewildered to say anything. "I really wanted to be like that, too."

Makoto can't help but laugh this time. "Haru-chan wanted to be like me? That sounds so impossible."

"Well, it **was **impossible," Haruka huffs, and for the first time, he averts his eyes. Makoto feels himself grow more and more curious by the second. "I felt stupid even trying. And it made me angry. I thought Makoto was stupid for being able to do it so easily."

"Haru," Makoto sounds really amused now, but Haruka isn't done yet.

"So I thought, if I can't make the skill mine, I'll make _Makoto _mine."

Whatever Makoto wanted to say a moment ago, has completely flown from his mind in a split second. His mouth is actually agape, but Haruka still isn't looking at him; he is resolutely staring in the opposite direction, a brilliant blush beginning to bloom on his cheeks.

"So," Makoto manages after about half a minute of stunned silence, "are you saying you... you made friends with me _because _you were jealous of me...?" He thinks it sounds ridiculous, even just saying it out loud like that, but Haruka just nods mutely, the expression on his face giving the impression of a fish out of water. (_What a fitting image for him_, Makoto thinks fleetingly, but he's just too shocked to even feel amused at that right now.)

"You're making it sound weird..."

"Well, it **is **weird!" Makoto protests, and Haruka's expression begins to turn sour. "I mean," the brunet continues, and from the way his tone shifts, the shorter one knows he is not being made fun of anymore, "it doesn't make much sense, does it? For Haru to be jealous of me, when he was always just fine the way he was."

Haruka has no idea what to say to this; he ducks his head in a completely useless attempt to hide the redness of his face, and doesn't look up again, not even when Makoto speaks again, his tone once more a mixture of confusion, curiosity, and teasing.

"And you... didn't like me...?"

Haruka gives a noncommittal shrug. "I thought I didn't, at the time," he admits, his voice dropping lower as he finally looks back in the direction of the taller one. His tone softens then, a hand raising and cupping Makoto's cheek in his palm. "I'm not so sure anymore - if I was envious of Makoto and wanted to be like him, then I surely had to like what Makoto was, right?"

"... That is _way _too confusing," Makoto states, but he is still smiling, and the next moment, his own voice becomes hushed as well, his own palm reaching up to cover Haruka's as his gaze softens in that special way that only happens for Haruka, and Haruka only. "Well, one thing is for sure..."

"What is that?"

"Haru definitely made me _his_."


	9. Epiphany

**Day 9**  
**Prompt:** Losing Hope  
**Summary:** He takes a deep breath, and somewhere in a hole of time between two seconds passing, at a place where time itself doesn't even have a meaning, for the first time, he realizes the full extent of what it's like for Makoto, to be _truly_ scared.

* * *

**Epiphany**

_oOo_

Some time later, when Haruka recalls the events of that night, he finds it impossible to believe that everything really happened in a mere _five seconds_. It felt so impossibly long, a lifetime, or rather, two - their lives, _both _of theirs, even though it was only Makoto's that was ever endangered - still, Haruka has a hard time imagining having any sort of life that doesn't have his best friend in it.

**i.**

The tent is empty, and even though Nagisa is blabbering behind Haruka's back about restrooms and rain, all he can really hear is the sound of his own heartbeat drumming against the inside of his ears, as he knows, instantly, instinctively, that something is terribly wrong.

When he spots the two of them between the raging waves of the ocean, his fear coming true, he feels as if he is leaving a part of himself behind - the part that is horror-stricken, the part that simply _cannot believe _that Makoto was foolish enough to do this, to wage war against his biggest fear on his own, without Haruka by his side. He leaves that part behind, because he simply doesn't have the luxury to be dumbstruck, when his teammates are close to drowning.

Haruka is notorious for how quickly he can throw his clothes off, but this time, he doesn't even think of that - every **tenth **of a second counts.

Makoto doesn't seem to be conscious by the time Haruka reaches him, and he feels unusually heavy as the shorter one wraps an arm around his chest, beginning to propel them towards the nearest shore he can spot. He will probably feel a _little bit _guilty about it later, but, for now, he doesn't even spare a glance back to see whether Nagisa got Rei safely or not, and it is **not **because he trusts Nagisa - he is simply unable to spare a thought to anyone except Makoto.

**ii.**

Any and all thoughts of how much he loves the ocean have completely evaporated into nothingness. Haruka hates the ocean right now, with a fierce, burning passion, for no matter how precious it might be, it is trying to take something even more precious from Haruka, and that is simply unforgivable.

Somewhere, he realizes it's simply stupid to make such comparisons, but all he can think about, his mind getting more and more hazy as he swims, Makoto's body feeling like dead weight in his arms, is how Makoto has never tried to take the sea away from him, despite the fact that he was scared.

Nobody should ever take Makoto away.

**iii.**

_No, don't even think like this. He'll be fine. He has to be fine._

**iv.**

Which shore they are on, Haruka hasn't the slightest clue, but he can't be bothered to care, anyway. His extremities can barely move, the water was so cold, and for a couple of endless-seeming seconds, he lays facedown on the sand, trying to catch his breath. He thinks he must have hit his shoulder on a rock, because it's sore and a bit purple, and he even ended up losing his shirt somehow, although he can't remember when and where. (Was he wearing it when he ran into the water? Had he discarded it on the beach? ... Who cares.) His fingers are numb, but he can feel Makoto's in between them, and that's what finally brings him to his senses enough to kneel up.

Makoto's eyes are closed, and so is his mouth. He looks pale as whitewash; the colour looks so odd on him that Haruka almost doesn't believe he is seeing his best friend. His clammy, cold fingers press against the unmoving boy's chest - there's a heartbeat, thank God, although he has to listen for quite a few seconds to be able to separate the beat he feels under his fingertips from his own that's still pulsing wildly in his chest, making him breathless. He lowers his ear to check if Makoto is breathing, because if he is, it's desperately weak, not even enough to give a visible rise and fall to his chest.

The panic that first rose when he spotted the brunet in the water, and was then pushed aside, seems to finally rise. Haruka was never one to scare easily, but right at this moment, it feels as if the world itself is toppling upside down, the air being sucked out of it, leaving vacuum behind, and the azure blue of his eyes (that now look more gray than blue, what with this weather, and this discoloured night) are covered with a thin film of moisture, thin enough to still see through, but existent, and the world that has less and less meaning each passing second, seems to melt into a blur.

Haruka doesn't even dare think of the dreaded word - all he knows is that it feels as if his own world is the one that's ending, and the feel of it leaves him painfully useless, numb, incapable of moving a muscle, of even taking another breath.

_Breathe..._

There is one split second, where his mind is stunningly clear, even with the panic, and he realizes he still has a key in his frozen hands; that if anyone, he is the only person who can still do something. He reaches for Makoto's mouth, his heart hammering against his ribcage so powerfully that it's physical pain, but he doesn't care about his own pain right now, he cannot allow himself to care about anything else other than Makoto, because what if even this won't be enough, what if Makoto-... what if.

He takes a deep breath, and somewhere in a hole of time between two seconds passing, at a place where time itself doesn't even have a meaning, for the first time, he realizes the full extent of what it's like for Makoto, to be _truly _scared.

**v.**

He is less than a fragment of a moment away from pressing his mouth to Makoto's, when the brunet begins coughing. Haruka leans away, bites the inside of his cheek, hard, and while his best friend rolls onto his side and throws up salty seawater, he feels his chest expand with an altogether unfamiliar sensation, and he allows his tears to roll.

In the torrenting rain, nobody will be able to tell anyways.


End file.
